Real-life Examples

Finding motivation to help us stay committed to a goal isn’t difficult. All we need to do is to be attentive and observant to our surrounding. Statistics and numbers won’t bring us the sense of relatability that we seek in real-life examples, with which we use to encourage ourselves.

In our daily life, there are many experiences and people that we have come across, which can be used as reminders to us of the kind of situation that we don’t want to put us in and of the type of people that we don’t want us to turn into. In wanting to try to steer away from the undesirable experience and image, we have no choice but to be looking motivation within us to keep our momentum going so that we can stay on the right track, doing our best to realize whatever goal that we have set for ourselves.

A beer belly can hinder one’s agility and physical movements. Not wanting to put myself in that kind of discomfort, I encourage myself to hit the gym even when I am exhausted to the core. When I am told that a relative’s professional promotion is unsuccessful, due to his not so friendly relationships with his co-workers, I remind myself of the importance of showing and treating others with basic social courtesy and respect.

Things that happen in our lives are meant to teach us a lesson or two. Pay attention!

How To Be Inspirational

I did a speech last night. One member of the audience came up to me afterwards and said, ” You are so inspirational!” While feeling extremely flattered by his kind words, I took the opportunity to remind him that being someone inspirational was not a goal that was difficult to accomplish.

Being someone inspirational is all about being genuine and authentic, sharing with others about the ups and downs over the course of our life journey that we have experienced so far. I truly believe that if we are being genuine and authentic with others about our life experiences, our act of sharing will never be mistaken for a form of bragging.

Seasonal Outbreak Of Summer Anger

Summer is approaching. The warm weather is here. Often time, people are warned about the deadly consequences of suffering from heat wave. What’s often left unwarned is the repercussion of suffering from seasonal outbreak of the summer anger.

The warm weather day causes extra amount of perspiration. The drenched clothes, the dripping sweat and the shortness of breath, exacerbated by the pollutants in the air particles can easily trigger summer anger. When we suffer from summer anger, we might act out our internal discomfort, irritated by the surge of mercury, by bumping into people in the street without voicing a word of apology. The decrease of tolerance, patience and the deterioration of the overall psychological balance are the symptoms of summer anger that we need to be aware of.

Just like prevention of our suffering from summery heat wave, precautionary measures need to be taken to prevent the outbreak of summer anger. Measures, such as wearing comfortable clothing, having positive self-talk, and consuming vegetable and fruit based diets are all efficient ways to help us keep summer anger under control from the inside out.

photoDistillery District, Toronto

Asserting Yourself Effectively

Asserting yourself isn’t always going to be popular, because it comes with the probability of causing friction amongst your friends. Asserting yourself isn’t always going to be easy, because it comes with the possibility of being misunderstood by your parents and relatives. Asserting yourself can be painful, because it comes with risk of your becoming outcast in not only your workplace, but also society.  Knowing the repercussion that might be caused by your desire to listen to and express your inner voice, do you still want to learn the skills to assert yourself effectively? If you do, let me walk you through the process.

To learn to assert yourself effectively, you have to know what it is that you want to assert. In other words, what it is that you want to make clearly known to others. What you want to make clearly known to others can be your intention to tell your friends that it is not OK to mock someone, publicly or privately, at his or her skin color, sexual orientation or accent. It can be your longing to let your parents understand what truly makes you happy, in both of your personal and professional lives. It can also be your decision to implement a strategy for a specific project at work, knowing, despite the lack of approval from your colleagues, that it will bring the whole team a fruitful return. In short, knowing what you want to assert is the first step that you need to take.

Having figured out the subject of your assertion, persuading people, whose viewpoint that you would like to influence is the next step. To make that happen, understanding the difference between assertion and stubbornness is the key. Remember, being assertive isn’t the same as being stubborn. Although these two types of personal insistence both imply a certain amount of self-confidence, however, being assertive comes with an air of openness to various viewpoints, while being stubborn is a pure demonstration of one’s rejection of receptivity. Think about it, if you aren’t open or willing to consider others’ viewpoints, how can you expect yours to be embraced by others? It is important for all of us to be self-aware of our demeanor while being assertive, so as not to come across as stubborn.

As we often hear, the only person that we have control of is ourselves. Yes, we can try to be calm and collected, but under no circumstance can our friendly demeanor prevent others from questioning, resisting to or even challenging our assertion. To overcome others’ resistance to our assertion, good interpersonal communication skills are needed. Not only do we have to acknowledge others’ viewpoints, but we also need to remain open, yet firmly grounded in our assertion, giving reasonable explanation to convince other people that by doing things our way, a satisfactory result can also be achieved.

To wrap up this self-asserting process, we should encourage those, who disagree with us initially to give our assertion a chance by looking at things through our lenses and by analyzing situation from our viewpoint. In trying it out firsthand, they will resonate more with our words of assertion; hence, indirectly, subtly, the impact of those words will grow on them.

Asserting ourselves effectively is a very important skill to have. Not too long ago, Steve Paikin, longtime journalist and TV host of The Agenda on TVO channel, made a controversial statement as such, “why can’t we get more female guests? We’ve discovered there seems to be something in women’s DNA that makes them harder to book. ” Wow!!! If you are a female, who disagrees with his statement, how could you stand up to him if you didn’t know how to assert yourself effectively? If you are a male, who has female family members and friends, how could you defend them, if you did not know how to assert yourself effectively? Think about it!

Event Afterthought

How to ensure a successfully run event? The answer is simple, beforehand communication from the event organizer with every helper of the event, in a thorough, clear, and concise manner, is the key.

If the event has a host, both of the event organizer and the host should be fully clear on the entire run through of every aspect of the event.

Contingency plans should be in place to deal with the occurrence of the unexpected circumstances. Aside from making sure that all helpers of the event understand their duties and what is expected of them, the event organizer and the host should come up with a strategy, in terms of how to deploy contingency plans in a subtle, yet efficient manner without notice of the event attendees.

How To Appreciate Yourself

When I was a kid, I was teased a lot by friends and by schoolmates for my physical appearance, due to my weight issue. I was called pig and fatty on a daily basis, even by people in my close circle; the verbal bully that I had to face constantly really took a toll in the perception of my own body image. At home, my parents kept reminding me of how good-looking I was. I wanted to, but couldn’t believe what they were telling me, because they were my parents.

Peer pressure can be burdensome and hurtful.

Now as an adult, I have finally come to a point, where I can learn to truly appreciate my physical attributes. This kind of self-appreciation is not the same as being a narcissist. This is all about accepting, embracing and feeling comfortable and confident within our own skin.

Here’s what I have done to reach this point in my life:

1) Exercise. I always feel the most energized and alive after each and every workout. Getting settled into an active lifestyle can be challenging. But like anything in life, without hard work, there won’t be any reward. Every second of your life can be the moment that you decide to lead an active lifestyle. Ask yourself, “if now is not the time, then when? When I have a family? When I have children? When I have big bank accounts? When I’m retired?”

2) Dress well. Although we are taught not to judge a book by its cover; however, the reality is that the habit of judging others is deeply ingrained in us. Therefore, we should learn to handle this human convention straight on with modesty; instead of ignoring it. Exercising gives us the energy and the confidence in our body. Why not give our newly found self-confidence a boost by making ourselves look presentable sartorially?

3) Use the brain. Imagination is a powerful tool. Positive thinking isn’t just some airy-fairy idea. Having a positive opinion of yourself is essential to your well-being. There are many lonely people in our society today, who seek love from the outside. For them to feel loved, they are willing to spend their saving on others in the hope of being shown love. They have forgotten the most profound love that any of us can ever experience in our lifetime is our love for ourselves. Self-love doesn’t come from outside. It arises from within us.

Love yourself, appreciate yourself, and know that you are good enough to be walking in this world. Exercise, take care of yourself physically, sartorially and mentally, in times you will experience the profound love that only you can give yourself.

Techniques Of Conversing With Strangers

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As students, we went to school to learn the tangible, analytical, hard skills, and to obtain various degrees or certificates, required for fruition of our professional dreams. As adults, we do our best in spare time to improve the intangible, soft skills, such as creative thinking, leadership, and interpersonal communication. It is my belief that without having soft skills, our academically learned hard skills won’t be able to be showcased fairly and completely.

Contrary to popular belief, initiating a pleasant casual chat with people that we don’t know isn’t difficult. There are just a few things, if we do more, will certainly help us connect with them.

The first one is eye contact. Eyes are the windows to our soul. If we really want to interact with someone we don’t know, we have got to be generous with our eye contact. That’s what people on TV do. That’s what salesmen do. Giving someone a good amount of eye contact is an indicator of our openness.

The second thing is smile. If you are into pop culture like I am, you have probably heard of a word, called Smize, which means smiling with your eyes. That’s a technique used by fashion models to sell products in print campaigns. Since most of us aren’t skillful enough as models are to smile with our eyes, we actually have to physically stretch our facial muscles to create a half moon shape to soften our look, to compliment our eye contact, and to further unveil our hidden friendliness.

People aren’t interested in interacting with a serious person in a casual setting. We have enough seriousness at work. Having a smile on our face is the most efficient way to raise others’ interest and the best antidote to first encounter awkwardness.

The third thing that we need to do more to connect with strangers is to have open physical postures. Arm crossing, in particular, is a definite no-no. Remember, in order to welcome new experience into our lives, we have to project ourselves physically to the outside world as being welcoming, inviting and receptive. Crossing arm or leg postures have the potential of being misinterpreted as the physical manifestation of our disinterest and closeness.

The forth and last thing that is needed to do more in order to establish connection with strangers is to have genuine curiosity. Having curiosity, an inadequate conversationist can become an adequate one. Without having it, an adequate conversationist will turn into an inadequate one. To ensure a good conversation, we have to be curious.