Recently, I had a conversation with my mom, during which I let her know the education system and societal environment that I grew up in deprived me a sense of free-spiritedness. It was a difficult yet honest confession that was needed at the time to bring new understandings into our distant relationship. Throughout my growing up years, the constant comparison, initiated mostly by important adults in my life, between others and I often made me feel sorry for being who I was. In addition, the lack of pragmatic methods to help me confront with bullying, deal with body image, and handle the lackluster academic performances in school slowly but surely led me to lose a tremendous amount of pride and confidence in myself.
Now I know that I was not fully responsible for feeling unhappy within my own skin. Low self-esteem, a consequence of my constant comparison with others, had made me suffer in silent.
I do not think that comparison-based thinking and behavioral patterns are conducive to leading a life of balance. Although comparison is not an absolute devil, because without it, it is impossible for any of us to figure out where we are in the grand scheme of things in this world, and to have a clear awareness of our areas of improvement; however, I do urge adults, who have young people in their lives, to be extra careful with the choices of their language, and the methods of their referencing examples and models so as to prevent unseen damages that may be potentially caused in the young ones’ psychic.
I take responsibility to rewire my thinking and to recondition my behavioral habits for the better. As needed as it is, playing the comparison game, this delicate approach, needs to be practiced properly and appropriately.