Before moving to a new country in 2000, I knew that year’s Lunar New Year would be the last one in my teens that I got to spend with my family.
After settling into a new culture, my desire of not wanting to be singled out as an outsider forced me into doing things that I now cringe, in retrospect.
Seven years ago, for wanting to make my temporary living space feel like a home, I purchased bits and pieces of furnitures to fill up my empty apartment. Now in 2015, looking around my furnished space, everything in my sight seems to be like an anchor, holding me securely in place that I am unable to move.
Somehow, I experience the growing pain in a different way. Growing up is like a process of accumulating various experiences; or should I say, burdens, that will someday hold us frustratingly in place. Emotional burdens are heavier to carry than physical ones. I feel weak like a leaf in the wind, not knowing in which direction that I am being blown by the headless wind. A loss of direction only continues to fuel my internal frustration.