I just watched Kevin O’Leary, a Canadian entrepreneur, investor, journalist, writer, financial commentator and television personality, express his personal view on marriage on a Canadian talk-show.
Kevin said that one of the regrets that he had in life was that he didn’t get married in his twenties. According to him, if he had had his children in his twenties, he would have had more energies and times to spend on them. He then made a blanketed statement, saying all young men aren’t thinking of marriage in their twenties. To lead an easier life down the road, he urged all young men in their twenties to not fool around, pick a girl and marry her.
On one hand, I do agree with him in the sense that if we have our children in our twenties, we surely will have more time and energies to be with them. On the other hand, painting all young men with the same brush is what causes my disagreement. His blanketed statement about unmarried young men makes getting hitched sound like an unilateral decision. Not only was it an unfair representation of the diverse preferences in the young men’s world, but it also makes picking a spouse and getting married sound like such an easily realizable task.
Most of us are not leading an isolating life. We all know clearly how good our life would be if it unfolds according to our own plans, which are made in accordance to the conventional standard and expectation of conducts. As much as we want our lives to unfold according to our wishes, oftentimes, many things unfold in life on their own terms.
We are told contently that we should get married at this age, become rich at that age, travel around the world at this age, and become a boss at that age, our social influence and collective brainwashing somehow amplify, unrealistically, the human power, making us feel like a failure if we haven’t accomplished what we were brainwashed into supposing at a particular state of our lives. As we grow, we learn that we can’t make Every Single Thing happen in life. Getting married for the sake of getting married, for the purpose of bearing children or for the aim of having more time to be with them down the road is just not the right reason to rush into a new chapter of life, which comes with unpredictable new challenges and immense responsibilities.
We all have different life paths. Hence why we all have different life experiences. Not everyone is lucky enough to encounter the one, with whom they want to spend their lives, intimately, in their twenties. Conscious coupling consummated in twenties may be a thing for some to brag about, but it definitely isn’t a guarantee to creating a life that many fairytale dreamers have dreamt about. Of course, in retrospect, those, who have been in marriage for decades can freely imparts their learned wisdom. As valuable as the wisdom is, it is not applicable to every one’s situation. As young people, we surely feel the urgency to take in and implement the imparted wisdom so that we won’t become those middle-aged couples, who have no trouble voicing their shouda, coulda, woulda, that being said, we should carefully consider the applicability of the imparted wisdom in the context of our own situation so that we won’t have regret for the decisions, hurriedly made by us in future.
Going with the crowd is not always the right path to go down. In a world, where everyone is leading a different life path, every single life experience should be given the same respect and regard, even if it may deviate from the norm.