I Despise My Own Arrogance

As I go along with my daily life, as I am gaining more self-confidence, I can’t help but also come to notice and to despise the increase of my arrogance.

My arrogance usually manifests itself in the form of anger and judgment, which can be awakened, easily and irrationally, by the smallest things others do that are perceived to be in my way.

At a fruit and vegetable shop earlier this afternoon, I stood in line behind a woman, who had a full bag of produce. She and her cart took up a significantly more space than others did. Her movements were chilled and slow. Carrying a heavy big watermelon and a few fresh bananas with my bare hands, I could notice, instinctively, the deterioration of my attitude.

The heaviness weighed in my hands plus the hunger I felt made everything that I saw an irritant, which included the lady in front of me, who became a silent target of my negative judgments.

As we moved closer to the cashier, the lady turned around, all of sudden, and looked at me. I thought, ” Gosh, here we go. She felt my vibe and is going to give me a roast.”

“Would you like to go first?” She asked me.

I couldn’t believe what I just heard with my own ears, ” Sure…Thank you!”

I was shocked by her courtesy. So much so that a sense of lightness instantly replaced the condensed heaviness that I held on the inside of my body seconds ago. I proceeded to pay for my purchases and thanked her once again before I left the shop.

This experience has made me open my eyes wider to see and become more aware of the negative side effects that may come as results of my becoming more self-assertive and confident. Self-improvement isn’t a path to perfection; rather, a never-end life’s request for betterment. Although we may become better than who we were yesterday; however, it doesn’t mean that our improvement can rid us of flaws and other imperfect human traits. Let’s remember this reality.

Published by Robbie's Blog

I am a third-culture person who's navigating his way around Hong Kong and beyond. Come join me on this rollercoaster ride.

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