Can Act Of Caring Be Used As An Excuse By Parents?

When we reach a certain age in our young adulthood, many of our parents will start bugging us with the importance of marriage. Some do it in an obvious way, while others can get the same message across in a subtle manner.

In my own case, the message has been quite conflicting. On one hand, my parents tell me all the time that as long as I feel happy and have a stable job, when and to whom I get married are not of their concerns. On the other hand, they use their caring for me as an excuse to nudge me sporadically, expressing their eagerness for me to get this marriage deal done. They would even plan out my personal life for me, like they are the Generals in charge, by giving me demands; such as “Find a partner before thirty.” “Get this big event in your life done before thirty-five!” etc. While listening to their words of “caring”, all I do in my head is asking me ” Am I stupid?” “Am I so dumb that I don’t long for a loving partner if there was one available?” If I wasn’t stupid or dumb, why are they purposely demanding me to take charge of things in life that no one has control of? Sure I can give my best effort to make things happen. But, my personal dedication is not a guaranteed ticket to the realization of a dream, whatever it may be.

Having to rebuild my life from the ground up in a foreign country singlehandedly for over a decade, what I am made to realize, over and over again, is that no humans are privileged with the power to map out how life unfolds for each of us. Although we are self-perceived to be in charge of our life; however, in times, our worldly experiences will make us understand and learn the hard way that being a control freak in life will not help us progress positively; quite the contrary, it causes frustration, stagnation and a feeling of powerlessness. Going with the flow while working hard towards our goals is the ultimate secret in life.

Words of caring, coming from parents are always appreciated. That being said, once it is overdone with the intention of getting the same old message across each and every time, in a subtly manipulative way, a “caring” way of demonstrating parental love can become a nagging, unhealthful stream of imposition that even the most obedient kid can’t stand.

Parents should understand at all time that your kids are not you. The differences between you and your kids imply that you may not always know what is the best for him or her in adulthood. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Marriage can happen at any age in any time. Your kids are already dealing with insurmountable amount of pressures outside of the home. Why are you still putting more weights on your kids’ shoulders?

The best way to show your support to your grown children is to back him or her up in anything he or she decides to do. Take you foot out of your kid’s personal life. Trying to conduct or even dictate your kid’s future, according to your own wishes, can only result in stress and household awkwardness and disharmony.

Year Of The Horse

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Tomorrow is the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. 2014 is the year of the horse.

Birth year: 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966, 1954, 1942, 1930, 1918

 

Personality traits: energetic, independent, impatient, and enjoy traveling

 

Strengths: People who are born in the Year of the Horse are clever and kind. They are quite popular among friends, enjoy the limelight, and love large crowds and entertainment. Overall, they are perceptive, talented people who are ambitious at work.

 

Weaknesses: These people are stubborn and can be very impatient. While they are independent people, they rarely take other people’s advice.

Being Independent Of Others’ Opinions

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In one of his recent talks, spiritual teacher and motivational speaker, Wayne Dyer, talked about the importance of being independent of others’ opinions.

In his research, he’d discovered that all the geniuses in our human history, the likes of Einstein, Pascal, Aristotle and Plato, all these great poets and thinkers were considered weird by their peers; most of their ideas were not well received in their time. This is how Dr. Dyer described these geniuses, “They were the trouble makers that we gave a lot of criticisms to when they were alive and we honor them when they are dead.”

All these great figures in our human history were not concerned with fitting in with popular cliques and with what other people thought they should be.

If you are one of those people like me, who would like to learn to be less concerned with others’ opinions from Dr. Dyer, he openly shared his method in a response to his critics. He wrote, “I’m sitting here in the smallest room of my house, aka washroom, with your letter of criticism before me, soon it will be behind me.”

Sometimes we have to squeeze hard to let go of toxins in life that don’t serve us. It’s important that we do so.

Stay Active On A Winter Day

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When the day is warm and sunny, Toronto is a beautiful place to be. The energy and liveliness in the city can propel the laziest person to get outdoor and be active. Today, the temperature is minus 30 degree Celsius. The extreme chill in the wind can make the most active person want to become a couch potato for the day.

In times of external distraction, our commitment to an active lifestyle is tested. If we are truly committed to being fit and healthy, no arctic chill can prevent us from putting our workout gears on and getting our limbs toned up at the gym. If our commitment to a life that’s active comes with a percentage of hesitation and doubt, a tiny change of wind speed can be conveniently used as an excuse to call it a day.

Have you been keeping up with your workout plan today? I have! I just came home from the gym, feeling wonderful!

 

How Do You Use Your Imagination?

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Harry Potter author, J. K. Rowling, once said, “Humans are the only beings that can think themselves into others’ places without having the actual experience.” In other words, our imagination is powerful.

Since our imagination is powerful, how do we use this amazing ability of ours to serve us? Some, the likes of Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, apply imagination to the history-making invention, while others use their imagination to paint an unrealistic picture of the life of people that they know nothing about; In so doing, they feel more sorry for their own existence.

Have you been the type of individual, who says to yourself in your head quietly while encountering a person that you perceive to be better than you are, “Wow, she is so beautiful. She must have had tons of pursuers” or, “Look at the car he drives, his life is fantastic”? Majority of us have, at least once, come up with self-deprecating assumption as such with the “help” of our imagination. Then, as we grow and become experienced, we are made to understand that superficial presence of a stranger doesn’t tell the whole story of his or her life. Although the universe is the limit for our imagination to take flight; however, what we imagine about, quite often,  isn’t always true and a mirror of the day-to-day reality.

Instead of imagining our life is less spectacular than others’, we should use our imagination to empower us, to motivate us, as well as to help and to sympathize with others.

Why imagine unhappiness when there are already tons happening worldwide. Let’s imagine a better place, where smile unites all of us!